Friday, March 23, 2012

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Moving on...

This was my horoscope yesterday:

Feel free to match your plaid pants with your paisley shirt today, Capricorn. Accessorize with wild sneakers and a striped jacket. Let the oddball within you shine brightly! This is a terrific day for you, and you should feel free to express yourself openly and loudly to the world. You should experience a great deal of self-confidence. Take full advantage of it at this time.
 
Which is really odd, because I wasn't dressed much differently and with a scarf around
my head....I was very much rocking my "Professor Trelawny" look.  
 
I've reached that point in my life where it's time for me....and I am beginning to embrace my inner "oddball".....  I want to explore and experiment...see what fits, what I like, what needs to go from the past in order to create this new me as I move into the Crone years....
 
I do still struggle with concern about others opinion about me....but, that is becoming less and less. 
 
And I do become frustrated in searching for my new "voice" - but maybe that is to be expected as I'm trying new ones out and not really knowing which way to go.
 
All in all, it's an exciting journey....I spent my entire adulthood playing Mom....which I loved very much...but the babies are grown now and living their own lives.....And I am too!
 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Connections

Ever wonder where those words come from?  The ideas, thoughts, the just right
angle in the camera lens?

Yes, we all talk about The Muse and her bounty of gifts....but do you ever wonder why?

Why is it that in your everyday surfing of the www, you stumble across that site..the
one that takes your breath away with it's beautiful art and gorgeous words.  The one that seems to be speaking Directly. To. You.

How are we all drawn to each other and why?   Do you have something to offer me?
Do my words comfort you?

I have had this thought niggling in the back of my mind these past few weeks...I find it so strange that you can discover someone new that you really like and you hang around
a while only to find out later they are following some of the same people you do...it's a connectivity that I find intriguing and it makes me wonder what is to come, what we
can achieve with these connections.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I am tired of waiting

We continue to work on our farmhouse remodel...it's going
p.a.i.n.s.t.a.k.i.n.g.l.y slow.  This causes me to become rabidly
obsessed and unwilling to do anything other than work on the house. 
No one understands how badly I need (not want.  need) to move
and get this part of my life going.

It's at times like this, that God throws in that monkey wrench designed
to make me slow down, pay attention and re-order my priorities.

When said monkey wrench arrived earlier this week, after pouting
and fuming a bit, I did realize the gift....but, I also realized that I
tend to live my life around others....waiting on their moods, their
decisions, etc.....I tend to think "someday.....when (insert whatever
here) is done, then I will be able to live this dream of farm life"

(dont think i'm all selfless and giving....i have plenty of "me" moments and get to do what i want)

I've decided that each day I will make an effort to do at least one thing
no matter how small to make my dream a reality....I will stop waiting for
someday and will do it now.  I am tired of waiting.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A story

Once upon a time, there was a little boy.  He asked his parent
for a new toy and was given his wish.

But the little boy was not happy with his gift.....it didn't do
what he wanted.  The toy wanted to fly, to experience the
wind beneath its wings, to see the world.

And so, in his tears, he told his parent the toy was broken and
he wanted a new one....one that would do what he wanted and
would never break. 

With a sigh of almost disappointment, the parent did as the boy
wished.

And he never flew.